advice for a virgin metalhead..[views:10961][posts:90]_____________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:06pm - Yeti ""] another thing that people forget is that sometimes an orgasm just doesn't happen during sex. there could be many different factors. for example, after a hard night of drinking if my girl and i get busy in the morning, chances are it won't happen for me due to dehydration or headache or whatever. it doesn't mean someone was doing something wrong or anything like that, it just didn't connect. i agree with the sex with a partner, i never cared for random hookups. i've done it, but it wasn't anything exciting. |
| _____________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:08pm - Yeti ""] i find that if i'm about to cum and i don't want to, i read the title of a book next to my bed. for some reason that instantly shuts it down for a while. |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:09pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] RTTP: Romance to the Poon |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:10pm - arilliusbm ""] whats the title of the book? The Bible? |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:10pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] Dani Filths autobiography |
| _____________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:11pm - Yeti ""] hahahaha actually i remember the last one i looked at, it was "Wizard and Glass". |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:12pm - arilliusbm ""] Teddybear%20NLI said:[img] I will leave this here. Lmao. I made this, I cant believe someone posted this. Congrats troll! |
| _________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:22pm - posbleak ""] Yeti said:hahahaha actually i remember the last one i looked at, it was "Wizard and Glass". Wolves of the Calla will immediately bore your boner to death. Since this got all serious-advicey and shit I guess the best advice I can give you is to tell the girl that you're a virgin so she doesn't expect anything. If you're not a total basement-dweller then she'll probably think it's cute and crap and she won't have to worry about the HIV either. Don't expect to get her off by shoving your dick in her and you can always be like, "Hey does that feel good?" or "Hey how do you like it?" or whatever. And it's not that big a deal if you blow your wad fast, because as long as you keep her interested until your boner comes back, then it doesn't matter and you can go back for another round. Smoking a bunch of weed might help you last longer and be a little more chill about it. |
| _____________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:26pm - Yeti ""] ^this. weed not only makes me last longer, but the end result is so much more intense. i thought Wolves was awesome, but Song of Susannah is painfully boring. |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:29pm - arilliusbm ""] Stoned sex is incredible. |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:31pm - the_reverend ""] funny thing about this is when I was more of a "virgin" I could pound for hours and got laid 5x a day. Now, the once or twice a year I get ass, it lasts 2 minutes. |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:35pm - arilliusbm ""] I miss the 5 times a day days. |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:36pm - the_reverend ""] weed would make me do dumb things like sex without a condom and i would get twitchy, sweaty, and lost. I would just want to ejaculate and fall asleep. |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:38pm - arilliusbm ""] That being said, fuck beating off everyday. The best orgasms are the ones when you don't have it for a week. Shiit shooooooots across the room |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 1:43pm - the_reverend ""] yeah, but I have to get all that sperm out of my brain every night before bed or I don't sleep very well. Plus, it's preventing cancer. |
| _____________________________ [Nov 5,2010 3:17pm - Yeti ""] once a week? bah, i couldn't function. must happen daily. a used prostate is a healthy prostate. |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 3:32pm - arilliusbm ""] i used to do it multiple times a day. In school, at work, on a bus, on the train, driving. Driving is hard. It's easy getting roadhead because you can still steer a little bit. Wait, what? |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 3:35pm - the_reverend ""] arilliusbm said:Driving is hard. It's easy getting roadhead because you can still steer a little bit. Wait, what?yeah, it does sort of suck that archaeon is in TN... don't worry, he comes back on vacations. |
| _________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 3:38pm - posbleak ""] arilliusbm said:Driving is hard. It's easy getting roadhead because you can still steer a little bit. Wait, what? [img] A cautionary tale. |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 3:40pm - the_reverend ""] bennyhillifier |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 3:44pm - goatcatabisk ""] Anyone who strives to get a broad off is a fucking dummy. You could have done something constructive with those eight minutes, retard. |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:02pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] this thread is has becum highlarious. thank you gents. |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:12pm - the_reverend ""] MINT BERRY CRUNCH. |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:15pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] HE MADE ME PUT THAT THING ON AND FUCK HER [img] |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:16pm - arilliusbm ""] WORD OF ADVICE: NEVER BUY A GIRL THAT EDIBLE UNDERWEAR. SHIT MELTS AND GETS ALL OVER THE PLACE. TASTES LIKE SHIT TOO. YOURE BETTER OFF EATING REAL UNDERWEAR |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:21pm - the_reverend ""] here's every guy having sex with every girl: "oh yeah, baby please! what, you don't want to use a condom.. I guess so" *orgasms* "why did I fucking do that, I'm such and idiot. She probably has herpes and is now pregnant. Fuck, now she wants me to go to her parents house." now, here's what I think it would be like to have intercourse with another dude and it seems pretty sweet: "shit yeah I want to fuck" *double orgsams* "fuck yeah dude, hi fucking five. Yeah, black ops is out... let's go play that shit and smoke a bunch of weed before we're ready to tug each other off after smoking meth." which one sounds better to you? |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:21pm - goatcatabisk ""] Pantyhose flavored ice cream or GTFO |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:24pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] arilliusbm said: YOURE BETTER OFF EATING REAL PUSSY |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:26pm - arilliusbm ""] ITT: reverend is confused |
| ____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:29pm - ouchdrummer ""] the_reverend said:here's every guy having sex with every girl: "oh yeah, baby please! what, you don't want to use a condom.. I guess so" *orgasms* "why did I fucking do that, I'm such and idiot. She probably has herpes and is now pregnant. Fuck, now she wants me to go to her parents house." now, here's what I think it would be like to have intercourse with another dude and it seems pretty sweet: "shit yeah I want to fuck" *double orgsams* "fuck yeah dude, hi fucking five. Yeah, black ops is out... let's go play that shit and smoke a bunch of weed before we're ready to tug each other off after smoking meth." which one sounds better to you? This actually sounds wonderful.... sans the bromance. |
| ______________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:29pm - sigh ""] Pro tips bro bennyhillifier |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 4:39pm - the_reverend ""] ouchdrummer said:This actually sounds wonderful.... sans the bromance.you want your cock, but won't eat it too? what a pansy ass. |
| __________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 5:46pm - Lamp nli ""] The only advice I would give to a virgin is don't even bother going for it, not worth the amount of ass you have to kiss when you can achieve the same damn thing just from watching porno |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 5:47pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] i want to disagree with you there... i reeeeeally want to... |
| __________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 5:50pm - Lamp nli ""] Trust me dude, I wish I could disagree with myself. |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 6:20pm - BlackoutRick ""] Nope. The twat is definitely better than the hand. This is coming from someone who lettered in snappin in high school. |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 6:29pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] a twat in the hand is worth 2 in the bush |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 6:42pm - BlackoutRick ""] Lol. Also, the Se7en reference is win. That part was brutal. |
| __________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 8:10pm - Lamp nli ""] Well obviously twat is better but not better enough to make me go chase it or anything |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 10:23pm - BlackoutRick ""] not gettin any, eh? |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 5,2010 10:41pm - Lamp nli ""] Probably for the better, honestly |