Fucking LOL - Beware, exTREEEME epic troll Black Metal content:[views:2668][posts:16]________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 2:12pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] [URL]http://theblackmetaldialogues.com[/URL] [URL]http://theblackmetaldialogues.com/it.html[/URL] E-mail exchanges between Lance, the King of Black Metal from Gary, Indiana (aka Dave Hill) and Mathias, a Norwegian black metal guy. (for further info on Norwegian black metal, here is an informative article: http://observer.guardian.co.uk/omm/story/0,13887,1415240,00.html) Fri., Nov. 19, 2004 5:43 PM FROM: MrLouRawls@aol.com TO: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) SUBJECT: Mysticum? hey mysticum guys, i got your e-mail off the internet. i was surprised someone in a black metal band would use e-mail but whatever i guess we can't expect you guys to live in caves all the time (if you were serious about black metal you would though). anyway, the reason i am writing is because i was wondering if there were two bands called mysticum or something. the reason i ask is because my friend todd told me about a band called mysticum that were really heavy and extreme and that i should totally check them out. so i went out and bought your record and all i got was this total pussy metal instead. is there another band called mysticum that i should know about? i'm really into super heavy and extreme black metal, so if there is another mysticum that plays this kind of music i would really like to know. don't get me wrong, i'm sure tons of chicks dig what you guys are doing, but i'm into some serious shit, not this strummy bullshit you guys seem to be into. anyway, let me know if you have heard of these guys. are you guys on mtv? dark regards, lance AKA the king of black metal ---------------------------------------------------------- Sat., Nov. 20, 2004 8:48 AM FROM: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) TO: MrLouRawls@aol.com SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? Hi! First of all, i find your email a bit barefaced and strange. But i have decided to answer you anyway. You have now come to the label address to the extreme mysticum band. We have never heard about the pussy ones you mention about. Label name is PLANET SATAN REVOLUTION. Check out www.mysticum.com. Under releases link you can download the debut album from 1996 for free. There you can hear that this is industrial and extreme black metal. When you first enter the site you can see a picture of the newest release: Lost Masters Of The Universe. Its an album that collects all the rare and unreleased demo material, 7īs, promos and so on. Everything except for the debut album is here. If you are interested in ordering this masterpiece of black grimness, let me know. I am soon sold out, so be quick. This band is a cult act, originally signed to Euronymous (RIP) of MAYHEMs own label DEATHLIKE SILENCE PRODUCTIONS (DSP). And since you are claiming to be a "real black metaller" you SHOULD know that famous history of what happened with him. If your into real black metal you should also know that email addresses has nothing to do with being "true" or not. You have one your self!! MYSTICUM has been in the undeground for 12 years so we know what we are talking about here. There is nothing wrong in using emails to spread the disease. Living in a cave has nothing to do with Black Metal at all. As long as you are dealing with satanic and occult things, belive in what you are doing, you can do what ever you want. Of course MYSTICUM has never been on MTV, and will never be. Such music are not loved by the MTV crew. And to extreme to be on a channel that only sends crappy/happy sell out shit. Dark Regards For PLANET SATAN REVOLUTION Saiihtam Man. Dir. ---------------------------------------------------------- Sat., Nov. 20, 2004 7:15 PM FROM: MrLouRawls@aol.com TO: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? dear saiihtam, okay, let me break it down for you. first of all, i don't think anyone who is truly into black metal would start an e-mail by saying "hi!" you are not working at a smoothie shop buddy, you are representing black metal. pull yourself together! i should know- i'm the king of black metal in my hometown of gary, indiana. you should hear my band witch taint. we do mostly originals. i could send you our demo. anyway, i guess i should check out the mysticum you speak of because the one i checked out wasn't extreme at all. it seemed like they were trying really hard to get on the radio, just like euronymous did before he met his untimely death. i don't mean to badmouth a dead guy, don't get me wrong, i can't expect everyone to be a totall badass all the time like me. i was just born this way i guess- born the king of black metal and a ton of other shit too. do you guys have stickers? you should put them up around town and maybe put something under the band's name that says "definitely not a bunch of pussies" so no one gets your mysticum confused with the guys that i had the misfortune of hearing. come to think of it, i'm gonna kick my friend todd's ass for turning me on to the wrong mysticum. are you signing any new bands to your label? my band witch taint is so good you guys will probably get rid of all the other bands on your label just so you can work full-time on a real extreme black metal band. okay, let me know. i gotta go, my mom needs the computer. blackest of the black, lance ---------------------------------------------------------- Sun., Nov. 21, 2004 4:10 PM FROM: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) TO: MrLouRawls@aol.com SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? I think you sounds stupid man. Hi instead of dear. What is the worst beginning an email with here? And you are still living with your ma? Hah. Get a life!! You are not a king!! Well but if you want me to consider your band, you are welcome to send it to me. But if you are continuing beeing barefaced, you can fuck off...... The ones who really are the week, is the ones who allways have to tell everybody how cool they are, like you are doing. Think about that. ---------------------------------------------------------- Mon., Nov. 22, 2004 12:30 PM FROM: MrLouRawls@aol.com TO: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? dear saiihtam, you misunderstand me. when i started my e-mail with "dear", i meant it more in king diamond sort of way, as in "dear abigail." i didn't mean it like i wanted to come over there and date you or anything. don't get me wrong, if i come to norway, i'd be into hanging but i don't want anything more than that. besides, given my duties as the king of black metal, i don't really have time for dating anybody, even if they are some chick with big tits and the entire mayhem discography on original vinyl or some shit. as far as living with my mother goes, that is simply not the case. i live in the basement in the same house but it is totally my own place and i can do whatever i want. i just use her computer sometimes to school people on black metal and other stuff. last saturday i had a party and she couldn't say shit even if i was playing burzum on full volume or something. i went up to the kitchen to get some orange juice and she asked me to turn it down and i said no. let's see you try that shit. but let's get to the heart of the matter. first of all, i think you and i disagree on what it is to be black metal. you seem to be into promoting black metal and supporting the black metal scene. this completely goes against what it is to be black metal if you ask me. black metal is for the few, the brave, the blackest of the black. when you promote it to anyone in any way you are selling out. some of the most extreme black metal i have ever heard is from my own bands- like witch taint, unholy chalice, mystikum (mine is spelled with a k, it is different), and summer's eve. these are all bands where i recorded and played everything on the record myself and when i was finished, played the record for myself and myself alone because i was the only one who was black enough to handle it! this is real black metal! you are too concerned with being popular and getting on the radio and stuff. i do not understand. i don't normally share my music with people because it would destroy them, but in the interest of showing you what real black metal is i will send you a copy of the most recent witch taint album, which is called "infernicus dictus dei rectum." please send me your address and let me know if you want some stickers too. together we could show the world what real black metal is all about. also, i will need roadies. do you think the guys in mysticum would be willing to help out? darkest regards, lance the king of black metal ---------------------------------------------------------- Tues., Nov. 23, 2004 2:19 AM FROM: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) TO: MrLouRawls@aol.com SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? Well, first of all. We do not earn any money on the MYSTICUM release. We are NOT on the radio. And MYSTICUM are no sell out band. You SHOULD know that. They have GREAT cult status within the scene. And in 12 years, only one album was made, together with 7's, demos and so on. Not many bands on this planet are bootlegged after only one release!! This label are VERY small, and have no opportunitys in heavy promotion. But the fact is, that when you are releasing something. You have to cover what has been taken from your own savings. That is all. I put out a release in 1000 ex. Band normally get 10% as payment. That means 100 ex. I cover what i have used from my savings, and everybody is "happy". Thats all. But to reach that, i have to promote a little bit, not much. But labels and people have to get some information so that they know that an album are out, and how to obtain it. There is no point for me, paying like 3000 USD from my own pocket to release 1000 ex, if you see what i mean. Well, address is: (removed) (removed) (removed) Norway Let me know if you are interested in the MYSTICUM Lost Masters of the Universe CD. If yes, send 25 USD together with your package. Another thing. Why do you want me to release your stuff, if you are against it??? Against beeing promoted on a label?? You will newer get your stuff spread without any kind of promotion. Saiihtam/PSR ---------------------------------------------------------- Tue., Nov. 23, 2004 2:11pm FROM: MrLouRawls@aol.com TO: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? dear saiihtam, i see your point. if you are going to put something into something (in this case a record by a bunch of pussies called mysticum), then you should get something out of it too (some money and also a reputation for working with pussies like the guys in mysticum). i don't like this idea of everyone (or anyone for that matter) being "happy" as you mentioned though. that is exactly what i am saying- black metal has nothing to do with being happy. it should make you want to live in darkness, perhaps with a babbling brook nearby that would mock you in the night. but i fear i am being too harsh. I realize you may not think that mysticum are a bunch of pussies but that is probably because you have yet to hear my band witch taint. i am generally against promoting my music because i think it goes against everything that black metal is about. in a perfect world, black metal would exist totally in the mind (as it does with me much of the time). we would hear the black sounds pouring through our brain as we sit in darkness (or maybe there could be a torch nearby). this is true black metal. a compromise might be just having bands play in the woods and there could be a bonfire and a select few would be permitted to hide behind trees and listen to the bands perform. i realize however that this is impractical and it would be awkward if everybody ran into each other later at the grocery store or something. it is hard to be truly black when shopping for groceries, which is why i rarely eat unless i absolutely have to. i would however permit you to release an album from my band witch taint if you think you could handle it. i must warn you- it is truly black, some people say unlistenable. it is so black in fact that when i played it for a "friend" recently he said "if you don't take this music off i am going to kill myself!" this is how black it is. i would also like to make t-shirts, preferably long sleeve. please let me know what you think of this. i think you are ready. i am going to send you my band's demos. i recommend not having any sharp objects or firearms around while listening because it is so black you may harm yourself. also, please play my music for the members of mysticum. i would like them to work for me and i think they should become familiar with the material. i would like to call my album "in dominus perineum satanus." blacker than black, lance the king of black metal X50 ---------------------------------------------------------- Tues., Nov. 23, 2004 2:53 PM FROM: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) TO: MrLouRawls@aol.com SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? Hell-o! Okay, send demo over. My scalpel is prepared. By the way: I donīneed a reputation. The reason why iīm doing this is because i am a really dedicated person. So if i find something i really like. I will release it, and dedicate me to promote it the way the band wants to!! In todays scene, there is barely no good bands anymore. I donīt buy any new music anymore, because it is crap with "new age" attitude and sound. I like music to be obscure. And to be that, you have to be original. I really hope your stuff is as good as you say. I prefere you not to talk shit about the MYSTICUM band i work with. You donīt know them, and they are really great people. If i am going to release something with you, you have to show some respect for the older guys here. Beeing barefaced are not gonna benefit you, only your soul, but not your oppurtunities. I dont say happy, i say "happy". And with that word, i mean that i am satisfied with having my money back and a fucking great album out. The band are also satisfied with that. If you want me to release somthing with your band, i guess you will become satisfied your self, seeing your album out! If it happens? I do not know now. I still have to hear it first. You have really something to proove for me!! You say:i am generally against promoting my music because i think it goes against everything that black metal is about. in a perfect world, black metal would exist totally in the mind (as it does with me much of the time). we would hear the black sounds pouring through our brain as we sit in darkness (or maybe there could be a torch nearby). this is true black metal. I say: What is then the point in making music, when you have this attitude?? I mean, if you keep it for your self, there is no point in making music. Be seeing you............. ---------------------------------------------------------- Wed. Nov. 24, 2004 1:40 AM FROM: MrLouRawls@aol.com TO: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? dear saiihtam, okay, brace yourself for my band witch taint's demos. you say you like obscure stuff- well, this is the most obscure, extreme, and black metal that has ever been created in my opinion. it is so extreme that some days even i can't bear to listen to it. even the recording process was difficult. several times i had to leave the room and sit in a ditch in my back yard to gather my thoughts. i honestly don't recommend listening to it alone as it may be too much for you. can you feel it? i am very excited (in a black metal kind of way. no, i am not smiling. and i shall not.) for you to put our album out. i think you are right- there is no point in making music if only i am to hear it. i want people to hear this music. it shall decimate the weak and make people set their pets loose into the wild. and there is nothing "new age" about it. in fact, i have written a song called "i shall rape the new age." the lyrics are about how i plan to rape the new age. we would also like (we will not "like" it, but you know what i mean) to come to norway as soon as possible. we wish to pummel norway into submission. i would also like to visit varg vikernes in prison and tell him what a new age pussy he is. are you with me? as for mysticum, from now on i will show them respect. i look forward to having them work with me. in fact, maybe the thing that makes the most sense is to have them join me for the witch taint shows. that way i don't have to bring the rest of the band (my cousin bill and his friend mark) over to norway with me to tour. the guys from mysticum could learn the songs and play them with me. can you please ask them about this? i don't mind playing with older guys either as long as they will wear the white makeup. can you send me your address again? also, what size t-shirt do you wear? i would like to send you a witch taint t-shirt so you can start promoting us over there. blacker than the blackest of black x50, lance the king of black metal ---------------------------------------------------------- Wed. Nov. 24, 2004 3:53 PM FROM: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) TO: MrLouRawls@aol.com SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? Address is: (removed) (removed) (removed) Norway Beware: I have not signed you yet. First i have to hear your stuff. Then we can talk. By the way: What bands do you consider real? Or what do you prefere to listening to?? Saiihtam / PSR ---------------------------------------------------------- Sun. Nov. 28, 2004 11:38 AM FROM: MrLouRawls@aol.com TO: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? dear saiihtam, brace yourself for witch taint. it is extreme beyond the most extreme of extremes. i was also wondering whether i might e-mai you mp3's of witch taint so you might be able to hear it immediately and we get started on planning the first official release of the mighty witch taint. let me know if i can e-mail you mp3's or if you are afraid they might cause your computer to melt (a possibility- you have been warned.). also, who is mathias that you mention on your address? is that the person that handles your mail? please let me know as i think he should be warned of the majesty of witch taint as well. as far as bands that i think are real: i "like" (i hate this word) the first release from mayhem and the first release from emperor. most other bands i think are total pussies and should be destroyed. there are some north american bands i like- very much cult acts, like thrustercunt, malignant blasphemy, and the festering. of course my favorite (i hate this word too) band is witch taint. i am also a big fan of my side bands unholy chalice and summer's eve. they will make you jump off a building they are so extreme. let me know if i can e-mail you mp3's of witch taint. i want you to hear it as soon as possible and once you have received it we can go about planning our release. what size t-shirt do you wear? do you have any allergies to taxidermy? blacker than the blackest of the black, lance the king of black metal ---------------------------------------------------------- Sun. Nov. 28, 2004 1:34 PM FROM: MrLouRawls@aol.com TO: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? dear saiihtam, one more thing- i have attached the official witch taint logo for your perusal. we are thinking of making stickers. anyway, you may download this file and save is your desktop wallpaper if you so desire. dark regards, lance the king of black metal and a ton of other things. ---------------------------------------------------------- Sun., Nov. 28, 2004 4:17 PM FROM: saiihtam (e-mail address removed) TO: MrLouRawls@aol.com SUBJECT: Re: Mysticum? Saiihtam / PSR 1. Yes, you can send mp3's 2. Mathias is my real name, saiihtam is my pseudonyme/artist name. 3. T-shirt that fits have to be normal Large size. 4. Do you have any allergies to taxidermy? NO. ------------------------------------------- post was too long read more at your own risk |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 2:29pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] "i don't normally share my music with people because it would destroy them" |
| ______________________________ [Jul 12,2007 3:16pm - Yeti ""] that is entirely too much to read about a retarded topic. |
| _____________________________ [Jul 12,2007 3:26pm - Dar ""] I read every last word and enjoyed it thoroughly |
| ________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 3:42pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Dar said:I read every last word and enjoyed it thoroughly Yeah, totally worth it. He just gets more and more absurd with every email. as for mysticum, i am not interested in having them play live. this is no good for anyone. i only want them to appear with me as my backing band. for all intents and purposes, they will be members of witch taint. they will help load the equipment, guard me from fans, play music with me, and generally have the most amazing black metal experience of their lives. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 3:51pm - C,DEAD ""] Couldn't read that whole thing, but this part was great: "i went up to the kitchen to get some orange juice and she asked me to turn it down and i said no. let's see you try that shit. " I can't stop laughing, that was so good. |
| ________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 3:54pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] C,DEAD said:Couldn't read that whole thing, but this part was great: "i went up to the kitchen to get some orange juice and she asked me to turn it down and i said no. let's see you try that shit. " I can't stop laughing, that was so good. Seriously - I think the only thing that surpasses my love for black metal is my love for making fun of black metal. It's a quandary. |
| ________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 4:06pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Just for a second, this thread had 6/66 replies/views. 'Course, I fucked that right up, but still. |
| ________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 5:20pm - My_Dying_Bride ""] Yeti said:that is entirely too much to read about a retarded topic. |
| _______________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 11:40pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""] Gary, Indiana is only the second BLACKEST OF THE BLACK place I've ever visited in my entire life. |
| _________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 11:46pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] BobNOMAAMRooney nli said:Gary, Indiana is only the second BLACKEST OF THE BLACK place I've ever visited in my entire life. Well, clearly; Aurora, Illlinois trumps all. [img] |
| _________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 11:47pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] **OMG SPOILERS** i would like to have two record release "parties", one in oslo and one in my hometown of gary, indiana, where i am the king of black metal. both "parties" will involve a single goat, tethered to a tree with the letters "WT" painted on its side in pig's blood. these letters, of course, will stand for witch taint, the greatest and blackest band in all of black metal. we will string up loudspeakers in the trees near the goat. at precisely midnight, the infernal sounds of our crushing debut will begin to play at a volume never before acheived by modern man. and that is when i and the members of mysticum will appear on the horizon on horseback. we will approach the goat, coming just close enough that our faces become dappled with the reflection of dancing flames (oh yeah, we should have a fire near the goat. i forgot to mention this). we will sit motionless on the horses (we will have one for each of us) until the final track of our legendary debut is finished. then we will turn and ride off into the distance, leaving the tethered goat shivering in the night. someone is going to have to come and get the goat eventually because it will probably be a rental. |
| _______________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 11:49pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""] DestroyYouAlot said:BobNOMAAMRooney nli said:Gary, Indiana is only the second BLACKEST OF THE BLACK place I've ever visited in my entire life. Well, clearly; Aurora, Illlinois trumps all. [img] I was thinking more along the lines of lovely East St. Louis [img] :nuke: |
| ____________________________________________ [Jul 12,2007 11:55pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE NOT FOUNDFILE |
| _________________________________________ [Jul 13,2007 12:06am - DestroyYouAlot ""] FuckIsMySignature said:GIANT RED X Glad you could share. |
| ____________________________________________ [Jul 13,2007 12:10am - FuckIsMySignature ""] Giant Red X is the grimmist place in the universe. |
| _________________________________________ [Jul 13,2007 12:15am - DestroyYouAlot ""] FuckIsMySignature said:Giant Red X is the grimmist place in the universe. tr00 that. |